Rapid Ageing in Washington

Our popular Terra-based correspondent, earthly body inhabitor, Boris Ridgeoff,
met with a terrible fate on January 20th, while travelling to and from Washington, DC, the capitol of the USofA, a powerful country at west side of our Attachment Planet. Boris went there on assignment to investigate the local deviation of the Charles-Augustin de Coulomb’s law, F=kq1q2/r2), observed by our FarSide of the MoOn spy telescopes. The Coulomb’s Law deviation apparently resulted from an alarming lack of overall charge neutrality of the human to human interaction due to the preponderance of negative charge among the truly enormous crowds there. Our Selenic quantum-algorithm-simulating Mother Of All Computers (MOAC) has calculated that the crushing surge of -e particles, emanating from the podium, has disrupted the equilibrium that has been held on the planet Terra since it had first coalesced into a rock 4.54 billion terrestrial years ago.

It was later observed that the George Simon Ohm’s Law, V = RI, was not upheld during that day either, even though both, the median distribution of the Voltage (V) and the Current (A) appeared normal, but the Resistance (Ω) was futile! The latter phenomenon quite possibly further disrupted the local Charles-Augustin de Coulomb’s law compliance as well.

Due to all these unusual and disturbing electrodynamic surface events, Mr. Ridgeoff was subjected to an extreme acceleration-deceleration force of wildly variable magnitude and direction. This resulted in accelerated aging of his already stressed to the tilt protein-wired journalist body. His before and after photos are seriously disquieting. Mr. Ridgeoff will have to decide now if he still wished to remain in his present state of Terra-bound organic decomposition or comeback home to the MoOn and get his new fiber-reinforced awesome feminoid physique.

Boris before the Inauguration
Boris After the Inauguration

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