News From The Moon

On Friday night Karl Marx who, following popular demand, was reconstructed last year, visited the Frankfurt school lunar habitat for dinner. His sidekick, Friedrich, did not follow him to dinner saying that he doesn’t feel comfortable in the company of only partially rehabilitated males. Engels, in fact, has completed his gender transition and rehabilitation in record time, and even started referring to himself as the Mother, rather than the father of feminism.

A meal started out in high spirits, however, by the time the dessert was served everyone moved into the telecasts dome and watched Donald Trump’s 3rd attempt to comment on the tragic Charlottesville events. The mood then quickly turned sour. Marx, especially, did not take the comparison to the Nazis in stride. He reminded his DWM comrades how often, after reading his so-called followers’ “mind-boggling claptrap,” he stated that he was “not a Marxist.”

Illustration by Patrick Bremer

That night he, Theodor W. Adorno, and Antonio Gramsci were overheard having a serious fight. Loonies were surprise to see Karl’s hair covered with what appeared from a distance as large amount of ashes. Since the Selenic atmosphere does not support the combustion process, this sighting gave rise to some wild speculations.

Marx was seen running around the dome in circles, tearing his clothes, and pouring more grey stuff on his head. He was overheard screaming: Schlimazl, moyshe kapoyer, gonif  and, Ich gehe plotz! Das ist alles fercockt, fercockt!

Gramci was sitting on the ground alternating between sobbing and screaming, Vaffanculo, stupido grande! Non è colpa mia! Non è colpa mia!

While Adorno appeared distraught and was overheard mumbling alter kocker and F-fucking Scale to no one in particular.

Adorno was later seen wondering into the Trump’s supporters camp, situated by the local watering hole, inhabited by the newest wave of the terrestrial DWM reconstructs, who had died mostly of natural causes, such as severe constipation, untreated due to the very high health insurance premiums blamed on the Obamacare. He was reported running around and yelling, F-fucking Scale, conventionalism, authoritarian submission, Unbewusste Emotionale Impulse, anti-intellectualism, authoritarian aggression, Allgemeine Feindseligkeit , anti-intraceptionsuperstition and stereotypy, Leistung und Zähheit, projectivity, Übertriebene Bedenken bezüglich sexueller Geschehnisse, and F-fucking impotent for several hours.

 The following day, he and Gramci were reported to appear in front of the city hall Nonagon, both weeping, with a huge banner saying Widerstandsfähigkeit Is Futile on the front and Hasta la Vista, Baby on the back.

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