Alex Jones apologized about this previous “erroneous” statements regarding NASA’s juvenile slave colonies on Mars. Mr. Jones told the prominent British journalist, who wished to remain anonymous, that those children slave colonies were actually located not on Mars, but on the Moon. Alex Jones’ interview was published in Monday’s edition of the respectable Tuesday Post.


Consequently, it was further revealed that Max Da Costa and Jessica Delacourt, who we all witnessed to be blown to pieces on Elysium, did not, in fact, die. Their scattered remains were collected by advanced methods of Vacuum Harvesting and, occasionally, by hand. Da Costa’s and Delacourt’s cellular and tissue remains were separately reconstructed using positionally-controlled guided mechanosynthesis and placed on the Moon, as their new bodies could no longer sustain terrestrial gravity.

While being alone on the Moon, Max and Jessica, after the initial despair, fell in love, got married, and procreated thousands of progeny by methods of asexual reproduction. Due to the properties of lunar surface and atmospheric conditions, the children never reached their parents’ height and most grew up to be maximum 125 centimetre tall. Mr. Jones believes, it this particular outcome that got the observers misguided about the age of these extraterrestrial beings and to erroneously conclude that they were enslaved by the NASA scientists.

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