Today loonies were very excited by the new revelations that Hillary Clinton—bitter, enraged, despondent after her unexpected election loss last year— is considering immigrating to the MoOn. As reported to us by her personal aid, who wished to remain anonymous, Clinton has not decided yet if she wished to visit our silver Rock alive and in her own body or would rather throw herself off a cliff and get post mortally transformatively reincarnated into the ultimate fiber-reinforced Super feminoid. A powerful former first lady, senator, and secretary of state will have to learn that structure of the social fabric in the Land of the MoOn, especially on the Far Side, is quite unlike the one she has been accustomed to on her corrupt home planet. Loonies do not have the so-called “representative democracy,” thus she will not be able to run for an office, as there are no offices or elections here. In due time, however, as her age will have advanced and she will have gained some selenic wisdom, she may be recommended to join the Lunar governing body, the Supreme Authority of the Selenic Safta Yishuv (SASSY) as an Apprentice Oracle.

It’s not yet clear if her hubby is going to tag alone, but he might be seduced by the all feminoid planetary environment.